? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
