and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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