Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
