Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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