can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
