Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize