she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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