I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
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My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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