Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize