I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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