did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
