Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
