Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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