You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
