NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
