I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
