Yo dont text me then not text me
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
