At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't turn off my feet"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
