Kiss
Puke
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
