And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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