Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
