Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
