I just cut my nipple shaving
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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