i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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