I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
