i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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