we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
