and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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