Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
