i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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