There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
