dude i'm inner monologue high
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
