I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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