who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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