Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
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You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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