1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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