Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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