Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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