apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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