im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
