Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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