I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
