He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize