there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
