No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
