Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
