you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
