i already hear my dad disowning me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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