i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
