dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
