i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize