Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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