tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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