It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
