Porn is love you can see.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish i was in the wii world.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
