You're completely useless in the revolution.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
