love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Pants are for mortals
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
