We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
