Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
