im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
