haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
