I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
