somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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