I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
